DUN...DUN...DUN...It's Family Portrait Time

Being a parent is the toughest job on the planet!

There are so many things to remember, worry about, laugh at, stress over, etc. Thinking about taking  family portraits just adds another dimension to the mix that many parents quite honestly dread. As a parent myself, I know how scary it can be to think about.  We wonder how we're going to get them to stand still for one second, let alone smile while looking towards the camera all at the same time? Talk about becoming a magician. I think it might actually be easier to pull a rabbit out of a hat.

Then there is the horrifying thought of your child crying/screaming during the entire shoot. What happens then?

On one of my recent photo shoots, 2 out of the 3 children were very unhappy with the entire photography process. They were upset for about 80% of the session time. I know that as a photographer it is my job to make my clients (including children) feel as comfortable as possible. So needless to say; I felt like a failure that day. I actually left the shoot crying, thinking that I had blown the whole thing and that the parents just wasted their time.

After careful thought, I've decided that the lesson from this shoot is that kids are simply unpredictable. And that is okay. I just need to roll with the punches and give 110% no matter what the situation.

The message I hope to relay to all parents is:
I, your photographer, will never give up on your shoot, and will work together with you through all of the crying, screaming, and giggling. After photographing these two parents with their 3 beautiful kids, I left sad for the stress that they had to endure. I want them, and all parents, to know that I totally understand that kids have bad days. Shoot...I have bad days all the time. :)

But, at the end of every storm there is beauty. So, as a parent, feel free to take a deep breath. And as long as we work together, we'll capture those moments to remember.

I want to give a special thanks to the Scott Family for allowing me to take their photographs this Christmas and for the experience I acquired during the shoot. I hope that they enjoy the images that capture this season of their lives. 

 

The Guerin Family

I recently had the joy of photographing the Guerin Family as they are expecting a new addition very soon. It was so much fun hanging out with them on a fabulous Saturday afternoon,  that fortunately gave us some decently cool weather. I remember being pregnant in the summer and it was not a pretty sight to see me outside in the sun after 10 minutes. Suzanne, on the other hand, is absolutely gorgeous. She radiates beauty from every angle; literally....no matter how I shot her, she was stunning. Kevin and the kids were equally quite photographic and I truly adored how fun they are together.

Kevin and Suzanne, I want to thank you for privilege of sharing in this special moment with your family. I can't wait to meet you're little man!

A Rustic Perspectice

So I know I'm not the most faithful blogger. It's a good thing I made this a goal and not a resolution this year. (If you're a bit confused at this point, please feel free to check out ~My 2012 Goals~). However, I still find this experience to be a worth while venture....even if it does take me a month to write each post these days.

Last week, my folks were out of town on vacation. I was, of course, given the unglamorous job of watching over the house and feeding their pets everyday. This becomes quite a challenge with my schedule (and I only live one mile away). On one sunny afternoon my kids begged me to stay for awhile so they could play in the backyard and keep Bruiser, their adorable Bogle, company. I decided to pull my camera out and take in a few shots while I was enjoying the sudden free time we just created.

As I walked around my parents backyard, my perspective of my childhood home shifted as I took a deeper look from behind my lens. The little things that I often never notice were very present in my sight. The old eye sores that I'm constantly scolding my parents about and encouraging them to throw away, suddenly became pieces important pieces to story of their lives. I started to see the beauty in the clutter and half maintained plant life. My Dad's junk pile mysteriously transformed into this treasure full of stories that I can share with my kids.

I found old items that I made as a kid. Things that I'd made either in metal shop, wood shop, or even younger. I had discarded these items from my mind years ago. Yet my Dad still had them tucked away in his mound of what I considered "junk".  Maybe, it's the realization that time has slipped by so fast or the fact that "their" time has been measured by something so different than my own. I'm not sure exactly what happened in that moment, but I do know that I now look at my childhood home in a completely different light.


This is the house I grew up in and it oozes my parents from every square foot. However, instead of looking on as if it was caught in a time warp lacking modern style, I see the various odds and ends as segments in a storyline. The story of their life....and mine.

Time goes, you say? Ah no!

Alas, Time stays, we go.

~Henry Austin Dobson

 

Side Note: After I walked around for about an hour looking at everything, I realized I hadn't seen Bruiser in a while. I found him snoozing inside the air conditioned house. Apparently, he had opened the back door and let himself in. 

Such a spoiled dog :)

Bloopers, Blunders, and other Random Rookie Mistakes

Making mistakes simply means you are learning faster.   

 ~Weston H. Ago 

I picked up my camera for the first time about a year ago this March. As I sit here and reflect about this past year I am reminded of so many moments of awkwardness and quite a few mistakes along the way. The thought of it all puts such a smile upon my face as I see how far I've come in such a short amount of time. 

I am what you call a wall-bud. Now for those of you who need a definition...

Wall-bud: A more timid and distressed version of it's sister the wall-flower. 

A wall-flower is a shy person who has started the blossoming process to near completion. A wall-bud is still nervously waiting to spread it's petals, fearful that it's beauty will be squashed at the first stroke of light.  

So imagine the hilarity of a wall-bud becoming a photographer! In theory it seems as though photography would be a perfect match for the quiet, inquisitive, and artful wall-bud....but in order to photograph people I must converse with them. This is quite intimidating for someone like me. I am constantly stumbling over my words and descriptions of what I'm trying to achieve in the shot and then I fear I'm sounding quite unprofessional and unqualified. I'm sure it's probably quite commical if one were to watch from the sidelines.

With this in mind, you can only imaging how my first photo shoots went down. I would converse as little as possible leaving my clients to feel quite confused and probably alone in front of my camera. I feel almost mortified as I think back on those moments. However, I'm grateful for the learning curve it has provided for me and my future clients. I'm not saying I'm a full blown "flower" yet, but I think I'm starting to show a few more petals.

As a new photographer you can imagine my sheer thrill of the opportunity to photograph the "Pictures with Santa" this past December at Light The Night in Eastvale. It was such a fun experience and also another learning curve. I sat down the other day to look back on the event in order to brainstorm ways I can make the next event in April even better and more efficient. However, as I was taking this step back I went through the photos taken and realized that Lightroom had failed to upload all of the photos from that night. I then checked my online gallery and saw that sure enough I was missing a whopping 130 photos! During the holidays I had several people ask for more photos and I checked and rechecked and never saw that I was missing those photos. So needless to say, I feel completely awful and quite foolish at the moment. At least I know I will never make that mistake again.

I am a natural light photographer that is still learning about reflectors and manipulating the sunlight. I had one family shoot this year outside at a local park. I wanted to capture the glow of sunset in the sky so I decided to set the time close to sunset (obviously). Bad idea! Much to this sprouting photographer's surprise....once the sun starts to set, it goes down...fast. I was desperate to catch as much as I could in that short amount of time. I was starting to have a near panic attack as I was in a race with the sun and he wasn't taking any prisoners. In the end I had quite a few grainy shots that just didn't show the type of work I want to be known for. I have learned that I want to continue to push myself to become a better photographer, but I need to know my camera and my abilities and make sure I don't push too far.

Overall, this year has been a wonderful learning experience as I continue to move along this journey of photography. I can't wait to see what mistakes I make this year!

They say the Elephant never forgets, so I'm going to channel my inner-elephant and strive to make these mistakes count.

Now on a more serious note...

I would like to publicly apologize to the people who couldn't find their photos this Christmas. It was completely my error and I thank you for being so gracious about my blunder. I have now posted the rest of the images and you are all more than welcome to check them out if you're still interested.

February Photography Challenge

This February I've decided to take on the Photography Challenge I found on Pinterest. Each day I'm given a topic to take a photo of and it's been a wonderful challenge so far. I have taken photos of things that I normally wouldn't think to take a picture of and it also gives me a reason to get out there and use my camera. I love photography and I'm really enjoying the little moments I catch each day. So if anyone else wants to join me in this challenge feel free to check out my photography board on Pinterest. I would love to see what everyone takes photos of so feel free to post them here if you'd like to share. Here are a few that I have completed so far...

Who wouldn't enjoy this view everyday? My son is such a fun person to hang out with. He is showing me his spins here. :)

 

These guys actually go to my church, but I figured it was a safer way to take a photo. ;)

This photo comes from a passion and a single piece of paper. I've had a few comments on this photo already and all I did was sit down with a pen and just write how I felt. It doesn't take much to make a difference in this world. So find what you're passionate about and go after it. Every masterpiece has started with one brave step and a bucket full of passion. Grab your brush folks.... and paint.

"ALL THAT IS NECESSARY FOR EVIL TO TRIUMPH IS FOR  

GOOD MEN TO DO NOTHING"     ~Edmund Burke

Happy Post Super Bowl Day

So yesterday was the Super Bowl and like every other great American I enjoyed watching all of the new commercials that came out. I decided to share a few just in case you missed them and happen to have the same humor/taste as I do....

~The Voice: I've never watched the show, but this commercial was pretty cute. I especially loved the ending since the unknown singer is one of my favorite actresses. I still can't believe how much her career has soared since the first facebook post about her hosting SNL.

~Vampire Party: So of course I would pick the Twilight spoof commercial. I know that many of us out there take into consideration the vampire killing ability of a cars headlights before purchasing our next vehicle. :)

~VW: Now I'm a sucker for anything involving dogs or Star Wars. So putting them together in this commercial was genius! Well I think so anyway...although I didn't see this one play yesterday...maybe it was during a chips and dip run to the kitchen. 
 

~Coca Cola: Of course these are the most adorable bears in the advertising business, but also we need to "bear" in mind that the polar bears are in danger due to environmental factors. I think it's a great way for Coca Cola to give back to a very important cause.

~Chrysler/America's Half Time: The best commercial of the year. Even though it's a car commercial it still had the most to say. It really tugged at my heart strings with where we are in America today and gave a sense of hope for the future. It does remind us to think about our purchases and make sure we strive to support American made products, for in return they support all of us....American's. 

Happy Birthday To Me

Okay so I haven't been too good with my blog this week. Apparently life decided to push "the fast forward button" on me (now if you're a parent you know I watch too much Nick Jr. after that comment).

Anyways, I'm excited that I am lucky enough to be on this earth to celebrate another Birthday today! Life is so precious and I know I often take it for granted, but today I am reminded of how quickly time flies by. I hope that everyone else has had an extraordinary day, because it is the first day of the rest of your life. We are only given so many.

This cute little frog caught my eye on our last trip to San Diego. He reminds me that life is about learning and to always keep myself open to new adventures.

"...And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. "

~Abraham Lincoln

Bits of Me...

-I love chocolate, but not just any chocolate. It has to be dark chocolate. Unfortunately, this is not a great item to bring around my house because my family can finish off anything related to chocolate in about 2.3 seconds....and believe me when I say I'm not exaggerating.

-I watch Modern Marvels on the History channel like it's my soap opera. I have to watch them at least twice a week. They talk about such fascinating stuff I wonder why everyone isn't glued to their TV! Don't worry I'm well aware of my nerdiness :)

- I hate to run, but I'm thinking about training for a 1/2 marathon this year. Could be a crazy idea, but hey....we only live once!

HOOOORAAAAYYY for me!!! I blogged 3x's this week and it was actually kind of fun. I'm definitely new at this, but with a bit of practice I could really get good. LOL! Well, at least I know I'll have this wonderful online journal to look back on in a few years.

Have a great weekend!

I Can Cook!

I LOVE to bake! There's a big problem with that though.....I end up eating what I bake! So it becomes a tricky balance for me to maintain. I have to curb my enthusiasm for baking and limit how many times a week I indulge in my mini fetish. Unfortunately, last month I discovered the Pillsbury website and now baking has become even easier. I just made monkey bread in 20 minutes and it was pretty tasty. Now I know it can't take the place of a true homemade dessert, but it was a great way to bake and include the kids with an easy to manage recipe.

The website has provided me with a few good dinner recipes as well...and I don't enjoy cooking. I'm so lucky to have a hubby who loves to cook, and he's really good at it too. I've made individual Pot Pies, and Chicken Stromboli which means I can now call myself a cook! Now if only I could figure out how to make the carbs drop off my body as quickly as they latch on I'd be a real genius. Until then I will continue to experiment with my new found cooking skills.

Happy Eating!

*I cheated with the photo this week. I was so excited to eat the bread I forgot to get a picture of it before it was gone. Apparently, we were all a bit hungry.

Courage

 "Our strength often increases in proportion to the obstacles imposed upon it."

~Paul De Rapin~

So this past year has been extremely difficult for me, but as I look back on what I've dealt with and continue to work through I wouldn't change anything. Believe me when I say, that is a pretty scary statement I just made with some major implications. 

 I decided to write this blog in order to open up to the world around me....in a weird cyber space sort of way, and to share my life's journey. If I could help just one other person out there with the words that I write, then my goal for this blog would be achieved. I'm not trying to use this blog as a soapbox or a classroom. I simply want to share my experiences whether big or small and provide a place of acceptance and realism. Our lives are full of extraordinary triumphs and tremendous pitfalls. It's more than a journey; it's a freaking roller coaster.

My roller coaster took a turn for the worse and threw in a few extra loops just for the fun of it last year around this time. I felt like that kid sitting on the coaster crying and begging for the ride to stop so I could catch my breath. Of course, real life has no breaks and so I struggled to find peace and understanding with the cards I had been dealt. At first I was in denial. Completely expected, but really hard to overcome. Once you recognize the wrong and become truly aware, you are then faced with task of actually dealing with your situation. At least in denial I could pretend life was unaltered. Then I was angry. Angrier than I had ever been in my life. I actually hated the person I was on the inside because of all the rage I felt. I felt sorry for myself and wanted to scream at the top of my lungs out of hurt and frustration. I felt so powerless and victimized and I didn't know if I would ever pull out of the sea of agony that was quickly overtaking me.

My husband, J, is a Psychology Graduate student. I'm sure that statement sounds quite random at the moment, but I promise to try and pull it all together in a moment. He has an absolutely crazy schedule each semester and that includes classes, research, and client loads. This year his particular client load hit a bit closer to home than I ever wanted or thought possible. I was already dealing with my own problem when he came home to inform me of his practicum site for the year. I was not happy to say the least. At first I felt sorry for J and the fact that he had to deal with this particular group of individuals. As time progressed, I could see that J was actually striving to help them, which should be obvious given his profession, but I was angry. I knew he was given a job and that he had to perform in order to continue with his career and education. However, I wanted him to only give the bare minimum in this case and I felt betrayed when he actually came home caring about the task he had been given. I knew it was heartless and irrational of me, but at the time I didn't care. I was hurt! It was an extremely rough road for me; for us.

Today I realized that we are at the halfway point of the school year...i.e. practicum site. It was upon thinking about his job that I realized that I'm no longer bitter. Please don't get me wrong, I still don't love his clients, and never will, but I've come a long way in the past year. As I look back I'm cognizant that this particular part of my journey has played out so perfectly it had to be divinely inspired. I'm not saying that I would wish this on anyone, or that I'm happy it happened to me, but I'm so thankful for the person I've become because of it. I've become more human. I've also learned how strong I really am. I'm starting to really like the person that I am....and I'm talking about all of me. We all have a little bit of "ugly" inside of us. Let's face it....we're only human. Its by accepting ourselves that we truly understand and appreciate who we are. It is also through this process that we are able to truly expereince other's as well.

This 1 year journey has prepared me for the next chapter of my life.

So I've never been an advocate for getting a tattoo. I've always thought of them as some barbaric form of masochism that people inflict on themselves. However, this particular tattoo speaks to me. The word alone is very inspirational in that it shows that no matter what happens in life we have a choice. A choice to have the courage to overcome and no longer live in fear or pain. The word signifies my decision to move past this moment in time and remind myself of what I am capable of. I am also intrigued by the color. It's not your usual dark ink that screams out for attention. It is so subtle, as if the word is there as a hidden secret for the individual who wears it rather than a symbol for others. It's personal and intimate. I still haven't decided, but I think this might by my birthday/one year journey gift for myself.

~2012 Goals~

So I wouldn't be following American tradition if I didn't post about my resolutions for this new year. However, I don't like the word "resolutions". It's quite an ugly word if you ask me because it has such a negative stigma to it. Most "resolutions" are not kept and are often forgotten by Valentine's Day. So I've decided to use a different word for myself; Goals.

Definitions according to Dictionary.com:
Resolution-the act of resolving or determining upon an action or course of action, method, procedure, etc.
Goal-the result or achievement toward which effort is directed; aim; end.

 For me "resolution" is a course of action. Well, any action can be thwarted and therefore change at any moment. Once the action has changed it's course I find it rather difficult to "get back on the horse" as they say and redirect the course once again. All of the effort to bring about this change requires energy (scientifically, physically, and most importantly emotionally). I quite frankly do not have the stamina for such endeavors. I have two children! So the whole concept to me seems a bit ambiguous and leaves no clear definition of success.

A goal is not a course of action at all, it is an aim that will provide clear and measurable results. The word alone leaves all ambiguity behind and classifies a distinct direction in which to aspire to. By using the word goal I will be able to focus more specifically on what I want to achieve. A goal is a push rather than a complete change. This will require some energy, but it will be in the same direction that I am already headed, so it will require less effort.  (Which is sort of like cheating, but in a good way.) I mean...let's be honest with ourselves; change is scary. Change is hard, and at times quite unnatural. I don't really desire to CHANGE myself, but rather improve upon what's already there.

So this year I'm using the word GOAL and I'm going to push myself in ways I never thought to before. The great thing about setting a goal is that if I don't attain it, I've still pushed myself more than I thought possible. That in itself will be an achievement!

So without further delay...

 *My 2012 Goals*

~ Blog at least 3x's a week. I think it's a good uneven start. I hate even numbers except 18, 24, &   
   28. I know it's weird, but heck...it's just another part of me that secures my originality.

~ Practice my guitar for at least 30 minutes a day during the week. This will be a big one for me
   since I just started playing. My fingers are a bit sore, but accomplishing this goal will be worth it.

~ Go to the gym at least 4 times a week. I've had a tough time getting into a workout routine that 
   works for me and my family. There has either been a problem with the schedule, 5am is just too     
   early, or the cost, $200 a month is bordering on insane!, so I want to stick with the new plan we've
   started and make it work for us.

~Try something new every 3 months. Now this one is a bit nerve wrecking to me, but I think it's
  going to help me grow in more ways than I ever imagined. For instance, I've joined a group through
  the organization Not For Sale at my church. Human Trafficking should not be tolerated and I want
  to do my part to end it. This is a project very close to heart and I'm unsure if I have the strength to
  do this, but I am guaranteeing my commitment for 3 months. At that time I will take personal
  inventory and determine if I am emotionally capable of continuing. I have a few other ideas for 
  this 3 month challenge that I will update you on as the year progresses. :)

I plan on adding a few more to this list in my goal diary that I've established for myself. By writing down my goals I can easily refer back to them throughout the year and in the future to see where I've been and how far I've come.